


Your Tear Glands Are Mine Too

by promiseboi



Series: NCT ABO <3 [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alpha Na Jaemin, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Mating Bites, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Misunderstandings, Omega Lee Jeno, Past Child Abuse, Power Dynamics, Sad Lee Jeno, Tsundere Na Jaemin, Tsunderes, its not as sad as the tags suggests, its rly not
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:09:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24471091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/promiseboi/pseuds/promiseboi
Summary: In many ways, Jeno thought he was going to be ready to receive his arranged mate. He had been taught how to be a good omega to an alpha his entire life and he prided himself in being a good student. But nobody could have taught him how to deal with Na Jaemin, the child of two alphas, a purebred.Jeno wondered how his parents had left that last bit of information out.orJaemin learns how to love with Jeno and Jeno learns how it feels like to hold Jaemin's hands.
Relationships: Lee Jeno & Na Jaemin, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Series: NCT ABO <3 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1762603
Comments: 23
Kudos: 203





	1. jaemin was a lot of things

**Author's Note:**

> hi there, another story I wrote in one sitting (31may) while under circuit breaker measures. I hope that you'll like it!
> 
> It gets better towards the end, I swear (read: hope) so please, give it a go till the end yea :D I cried like three times in the span of seven hours writing this which is embarrassing because I literally know the plot but oh wells. hehe.

When Jeno was informed by his beta mother that an alpha his age would be staying with them for the next two weeks, he had an idea where things were going. He had a little less than a month before moving to Seoul for high school and he knew there was no way his parents would send him into the city for an expensive education. It was evident to Jeno that the alpha was going to be his mate, that his parents had arranged a mate for him, probably for a good brideprice.

“Na Jaemin” was the name his alpha father gave him over an unsatisfying dinner. According to the couple who birthed him, Jaemin was going to stay with Jeno’s family in Incheon for two weeks to get acquainted with Jeno before the young couple moved into an apartment in Seoul provided by the Na Family. Jeno had done his job as the only omega in the family, nodding at every piece of information as he ate his dinner quietly.

In many ways, Jeno thought he was going to be ready to receive his arranged mate. He had been taught how to be a good omega to an alpha his entire life and he prided himself in being a good student. But nobody could have taught him how to deal with Na Jaemin, the child of two alphas, a purebred.

Jeno wondered how his parents had left that last bit of information out.

“I-I’m Lee Jeno,” Jeno stuttered as he spoke. His parents had tasked him to welcome Jaemin but had not bother leaving any specific instructions, leaving Jeno speechless when the said alpha arrived at eleven in the morning, a medium-sized suitcase but his side. Jaemin nodded, taking off his shoes and stuffing his socks into them. Jeno instinctively took the alpha’s suitcase and was awarded a nonchalant look.

It was good enough. As long as it was not anger or disappointment, as long as no hands were fisted or raised, Jeno would be grateful.

Still stuck in puberty, Jeno’s nose was not the best at picking up scents. At times, he mistook some beta’s scent for an omega’s and sometimes alpha’s for a beta. In Jaemin’s case, there was no way Jeno could mistake it. Jaemin’s scent screamed alpha at every living being, even when he was still in his mid-teens like Jeno. More importantly, it screamed of a pure-bred alpha, the son for two alphas.

“Is there something wrong with your nose?” Jaemin spoke brusquely, causing Jeno to cower into his own form which he reckoned looked pathetic in the eyes of the alpha. It must look weird to the alpha to see an omega so tall and muscular having the courage of a mouse. Then, remembering Jaemin’s question, Jeno shook his head violently, embarrassed that the alpha had caught him sniffing his scent. Jeno just wanted to confirm that his nose was not playing tricks on him and that his parents had truly missed out on an important fact. “Good, I don’t like spoiled things.”

It took Jeno a full minute to realise that Jaemin did not mean “spoiled” as in overindulged but as in broken. Jeno had to hide a bitter laugh. If only Jaemin knew how broken he was. The alpha would probably ask for a refund, take the next train back to Jeonju where the alpha was from and cancel whatever agreement he had with Jeno’s parents.

“This is your room, uhm…” Jeno sneaked a glance at Jaemin who was wearing a condescending look on his face. Jeno cleared his throat, hoping to avoid having to address the alpha who had not specified how he wanted to be addressed. “The washroom is down the hall, the white door with brown handles. I’ll just leave you to your room.”

Jaemin gave a nod before handling his suitcase again. Jeno let out a small sigh of relief and bowed slightly before running out of the guest bedroom, retreating to his room, his only safe space over the past one and a half-decade of his life. Only, that safe space was not going to be his much longer. He had the next two weeks to pack everything he needed and once he moved to Seoul with Jaemin, he would no longer be related to the Lee Family. He would be a Na, he would be Jaemin’s, not that he wanted to return to his parents.

**Jaemin was not the worst.**

* * *

Jeno chuckled bitterly to himself as he knocked on the door of the guest bedroom. He was an idiot for thinking that he could avoid interacting with Jaemin with his parents and the said alpha in the house. All he wanted was some time alone for the remainder of the summer vacation but his parents evidently had other plans.

The way his mother had forcefully grabbed his arm in the kitchen made Jeno realise how eager his parents were. They were running out of patience after realising that Jaemin and Jeno were still not on talking terms after one week of living just a few metres apart. It led to a few painful pinches on Jeno’s arm and a stern warning for Jeno to visit Jaemin’s bedroom after dinner and get his neck scarred by a claiming bite.

The door opened with a small click and Jaemin stood at the door in his pajamas, the soft pastel colours in the form of stripes contrasting against the permanent scowl worn by the alpha. Jeno sought comfort in the fact that he was not the only one who found Jaemin scary. Even his parents, an alpha and a beta, were wary of the way they acted and spoke around Jaemin.

Jaemin scanned Jeno before stepping aside for Jeno to enter. The alpha had figured the bulk of why Jeno was standing at his door with a slight quiver. There was no other reason for him to move to Incheon for two weeks. Otherwise, they could have just met in Seoul. “Your mother told you to come.”

Jeno nodded and pursed his lips together, taking small steps into the room. The smell of Jaemin was permeating from every surface of the room and Jeno wondered if it was something he would have to get used to. Jaemin had only stayed in the room for a week and the room was already smelling so strongly of him, Jeno could only imagine how their home in Seoul would smell like.

He turned around to face Jaemin who was running his tongue across his neat row of teeth. On command, Jaemin’s canines on the upper row sharpened significantly. Jeno flinched but did not step away, only baring his neck to the alpha and latching his eyes shut. A split second later, the omega felt Jaemin’s warm palm on his left shoulder and another reaching for his neck on the right—

Before Jeno’s rationality could come into play, his instincts had surfaced and pushed the alpha away, shoving the alpha onto the wall behind the alpha. It took Jeno a few seconds to calm his nerves, the fight-or-flight in his system fading away before he realised what he had just done. Jaemin watched as Jeno’s pupils shook uncontrollably before tears started to pool.

He groaned. There was nothing Jaemin hated more than tears. It reminded him of his infant days when he was helpless, powerless and could do nothing but cry in his crib while nobody attended to him. It reminded him of the time his nannies were mean and his only retaliation were tears. Tears meant weakness, tears reminded Jaemin of his weaker self in the past, tears were just pathetic.

“Get your shit together before you come to me and waste my time,” Jaemin spat, walking past Jeno and collapsing onto his bed for returning to the show he was watching on his laptop before Jeno had entered. The omega remained rooted in his spot, tears now streaming down his flushed cheeks.

He knew he should be grateful. Jaemin had not punished him for shoving the alpha away, nor had the alpha done anything to hurt Jeno physically, but the alpha was cold and curt. Jeno wondered which was more painful, the physical abuse or Jaemin’s words that made clear Jeno was stuck with someone who would not love him for the rest of his life.

Jeno quietly sunk to his knees, too torn to find the energy to leave the room and being physically closer to the ground seemed to be the only solution he had to keep his head grounded. More importantly, Jeno was not sure if he could leave. He needed his room, his safe space, to battle his inner demons, but Jaemin had not given him specific instructions.

The alpha’s words could have meant anything. Perhaps he wanted Jeno to calm down before they tried again. Perhaps he wanted to do it another day. There were too many possibilities and Jaemin was not helping by lying on his bed and surfing the web. Jeno wished he was born an alpha. Then his parents would have showered him with love. Then he could be the one on a bed care-freely watching a show instead of questioning every decision he wanted to make.

It could have been ten minutes or an hour. Jeno was not sure how much time had passed when Jaemin finally set aside his laptop and turned off the lamp on his nightstand. “Are you going to continue kneeling there or return to wherever you came from?”

Jeno slowly rose from his place on the floor, taking Jaemin’s question as permission to leave. With carefully calibrated steps, Jeno scurried out of the alpha’s room, his chest still aching. Jeno was broken, he was sure of it. Every little thing made his chest ache and his eyes tear. He was useless and weak, just like how his parents had described him to other family members.

Alpha.

Jeno had been so frantic about leaving Jaemin’s room and seeking solace in his own room that he had forgotten about his parents, the devils that lingered in the house. The moment he left the guest bedroom, he locked eyes with his father who was a few steps away. The alpha’s eyes instantly went to Jeno’s neck and upon seeing it still clean and empty, a terrifying growl erupted from the older man’s throat.

Jeno clamped his eyes shut, already anticipating the punch that was delivered to his jaw just a split second later. He had been taught in school that alphas were much stronger than omegas and betas. Jeno did not have to learn that theory from school, not when he was on the receiving end of that strength every now and then.

Body falling backward, Jeno only realised that he had lost his footing when his back and skull crashed onto the marble-tiled floor, a cry of pain leaving his lips. Jeno begged his father, grabbing at the older alpha’s foot not to kick him. “Please, father. Please, I’ll try again. Please, don’t hit me, father. Please—“

Effortlessly, the father got his foot out of Jeno’s grasp with a kick, flinging Jeno towards the wall. The impact of the cement wall against his head made him shriek from the sharp and excruciating pain at the back of his head. Before his vision could clear, Jeno felt his father’s fingers lacing through his hair, and with a painful grip, his head was smashed against the wall once again.

Jeno was in pain. Unbearable pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain.

Then, nothing.

“That’s my property you’re abusing,” Jaemin spoke in the way he always did but there was underlying irritation. Jaemin knew his interference would result in an all-out fight. Alphas never backed down or shied away from violence, it was their way of settling things, embedded in the very biology that made them alphas.

Even though Jaemin was a lot younger, he was confident in his strength the moment he held onto the man’s veiny wrist. Jeno’s father was not as strong as the muscles on his arms suggested. He was on the weaker end of the spectrum among alphas and in Jaemin’s spectrum, he was just a punching bag. “Release him.”

Jeno pried his eyes open, the throbbing pain in his head and the tears in his eyes blurring his vision but even then he could see Jaemin holding onto his father’s wrist and he could feel his father’s grip on his hair loosening. The older alpha had another target, Jeno was freed. “You’re still a child—“

“I will split your skull,” Jaemin’s eyes flickered. His tightening grip on the older alpha’s wrist was bursting the older man’s blood vessels and Jaemin changed his stance, ready to fight should the older man decide not to give in. The outcome of the fight was already evident. Even if Jaemin was still going through his puberty, he was a purebred, he was twice the alpha Jeno’s father was. Since entering middle school, Jaemin had never lost a fight, not to his parents or other adult alphas.

“Oh—Dear!” Jeno’s mother stuck her head out of the master bedroom only to witness the two alphas in a stare-down. Luckily for her husband, she had some tact and was quick to pull her husband away, glaring at Jeno just for the show of it. As they were leaving, Jaemin heard her whispers to her husband. “Are you crazy? If you hurt Jaemin now, his parent’s won’t pay us!”

Jaemin glanced at the omega who was still curling into himself on the ground. The pure-bred lowered himself until he was squatting next to the ball of Jeno and hesitated before tapping the omega’s back. “I’m carrying you back to my room.”

“M-my r-oom, p-plea-please,” Jeno managed to speak in between gasps and hiccups. Jaemin frowned, not exactly favouring the idea of having somebody telling him what to do, but did what Jeno had requested nonetheless. On his way to Jeno’s room, he recalled a lesson on omegas and their safe spaces filled with their scents and realised that the omega probably was not being picky but just needed recovery.

Jaemin wordlessly placed Jeno on the omega’s bed and draped the blanket at the foot of the bed over his shaking figure. Crying into his pillow, Jeno held a hand to the back of his head. A cold compress would be better but he knew better than to ask Jaemin to get one for him. He could live through that abuse but if Jaemin was to give him round two, he doubts he would be able to crawl out of it alive.

The alpha left after tucking Jeno in, turning the lights off in the room after turning on the AC for the omega. Jeno whimpered at the thought of his father returning when Jaemin was asleep and tried to lull himself into the safety of slumber. Momentarily, he would be able to escape his painful reality and be floating on clouds and riding bicycles along a mountain trail.

The door to his bedroom door creaked open just minutes later. Jeno’s body stiffened instantly. Quickly silencing his sobs, Jeno pretended to have fallen asleep, hoping that he would be left alone. His face was still buried in his pillow, blocking off his ability to smell the person and he wondered if it was his mother or father that was visiting him. Mother would be preferred, a beta’s hit was always less painful.

The bed dipped next to Jeno’s body. A cold compress was pressed against the lower back of Jeno’s head. He recoiled at the coldness and tried to turn around only to be held in place by a firm hand to his shoulders. Jeno recognised the hand to be Jaemin’s. It could only be Jaemin’s. None of his parents would be so gentle with him. “Does it hurt anywhere else?”

“No,” came Jeno’s muffled lie through the pillow. His chest was aching and he was sure his back was hurting too. Nonetheless, everything was overshadowed by the pain in his head and Jaemin was trying to help him so that was all that mattered. He did not, could not, ask for more. “Thank you.”

“Sleep. I’ll be here. He won’t come back.” Jeno’s last thought before he went to sleep was how Jaemin knew they would.

Jaemin was not the worst.

**Jaemin was better than his parents.**

* * *

The remainder of the week in Incheon was uneventful. Jaemin no longer cooped himself in the guest bedroom all day and lounged in Jeno’s room instead, preventing unnecessary interactions between Jeno and his parents. However, Jaemin did not bother with interactions with Jeno either. He was always on his laptop or phone in Jeno’s room, lying on the omega’s bed like it was his and ignoring Jeno’s presence completely.

Meanwhile, Jeno busied himself with packing. Jaemin did not bring much with him to Incheon as his belongings from Jeonju was to be sent to their apartment in Seoul directly. Jeno wondered if the alpha would help him since he was so free and had helped him with his father, but quickly understood that the alpha preferred to mind his own business.

To be fair, Jeno did not have a lot of things to pack. His possessions were limited to his clothes, many of which he was growing out of, his stationeries for school and his gadgets which was an old and faulty laptop and his smartphone. His parents were not poor. They just did not spend on him.

Jeno wondered if Jaemin would buy things for him. Jaemin definitely came from a rich family. From the latest smartphone in his hand to the expensive clothes he wore, Jeno knew Jaemin definitely was not stingy with spending on himself. Jeno just wondered if Jaemin would be stingy when it came to his omega.

Not that Jeno was his omega. Not yet.

“You’re not coming back ever again, so pack everything,” Jaemin suddenly reminded. Jeno snapped out of his daydream and nodded. He scanned the few books he had on his bookshelf and wondered if he should bring them along. Many of them were texts he had to read for school which he did not enjoy and the few he did enjoy were from his younger days. He was not sure if he wanted to read children’s books.

“Jae—Alpha,” Jeno bit his lips, waiting for Jaemin to acknowledge him, which the alpha did with a nod and a hum. Then, he hesitated if he should ask the question. Was it too early? Would Jaemin think he was a gold-digger like his parents? “Do I bring my laptop? I mean, I can still use it but it’s a bit old—”

Jaemin glanced at Jeno’s desk where an old and bulky Acer was. His expression morphed into one of disgust. In his mind, the alpha was wondering how did Jeno own an antique-like that. Then, he remembered the smartphone Jeno owned. Even if it was touchscreen, it still had all the buttons that went extinct with the age of facial recognition. “Recycle it. I’ll buy you a new one in Seoul.”

“R-really?” Jaemin rolled his eyes, visibly annoyed, but Jeno was too excited at the prospect of owning a new laptop to be affected by the alpha’s irritation.

* * *

Their apartment was located in the heart of Seoul, near the bustling streets that never went to sleep. It had a nice kitchen connected to its living room and down a hallway was a master bedroom, a guest bedroom and a study room. A quick tour of their furnished but undecorated apartment later, Jeno came to the conclusion that Jaemin’s parents must be filthy rich.

Even though the apartment was smaller than his home back in Incheon, it was considered huge considering its strategic location. It could easily be twice or thrice the price of his home back in Incheon. Jeno gulped at the thought, wondering how much Jaemin had paid in brideprice for him and if he would live up to Jaemin’s expectations.

“Why are you moving into the guest bedroom?” Jaemin clicked his tongue, annoyed when he found Jeno carrying his only box of items into the guest bedroom. In comparison, Jaemin had three boxes just for his clothes and two more for the study. On top of that, there were packages for their necessities such as plates and cutleries under Jaemin’s name. “You’re my omega, not my guest.”

Jeno quickly apologised and shuffled his items into the master bedroom after the chiding, avoiding Jaemin who prioritised setting up his workstation in the study instead. Jaemin had brought a lot of books and gadgets which made Jeno’s heart swell in jealousy. He wished he was born an alpha.

Jeno realised only a few hours later that perhaps Jaemin was not prioritising his workstation but was expecting Jeno to unpack his clothes for him. After the alpha was done with the study, he had moved onto the kitchen. “Uh, Alpha? Do I unpack for you too?”

“What do you think I bought you for?” Jaemin snarled, wearing his usual scowl and condescending eyes. Jeno lowered his head and shrunk into himself as much as possible before apologising. Jaemin held his wrist before Jeno could go. “It’s not because you’re an omega. It’s because you’re my omega. It’s because you’re my property.”

Jeno nodded before scurrying away, wondering if it was supposed to make any difference. He had to do as he was told by an alpha because he was an omega. He still had to do as he was told by Jaemin, an alpha, because he was Jaemin’s omega. There was no difference to Jeno.

A few hours later, all of Jaemin’s clothes were either neatly folded into the shelves in their shared closet or hung onto wooden hangers. Jeno looked at his work with a satisfied smile, proud of his work. It was not his omega nature calling out to him but the sense of accomplishment. It was nice. A small happiness.

“Do you have anything for the study?” Jeno shook his head at the alpha’s question before giving a verbal answer when he realised the alpha was not looking at his direction. He smiled at the thought that at least the alpha was doing his part. In the worst case, Jaemin could leave everything to Jeno, but Jaemin had unpacked the packages for their kitchen and bathroom.

Jaemin was not the worst. Jaemin was better than his parents.

“We can shop for school supplies tomorrow, then,” Jaemin replied a second later, realising that both of them had not bought the textbooks they needed for high schools in Seoul. There was also a laptop he had promised Jeno. Jaemin made a note to get a new phone for the omega while they were at it. There was no way he would allow Jeno to use that old phone which was close to being a vintage piece. Na Jaemin’s omega had to represent him.

“Can we go the day after? I think I’ll be too tired tomorrow, alpha—“

“No,” was Jaemin’s answer. The conversation died there. Jaemin noticed how Jeno had flinched from his rejection but chose not to comment on it. If the omega was going to keep flinching at everything then so be it. Jeno, on the other hand, let out a heavy sigh when Jaemin walked away.

Jaemin was not the worst.

Jaemin was better than his parents.

**Jaemin was better.**

He was not mating with an angel but at least Jeno escaped the clutch of his parents. Jaemin could be the son of the devil or the devil himself and it would still be an improvement. Jaemin had not raised his voice, had not landed a hit, had not grabbed him by his hair. Jaemin had only iced his injury, protected him from his parents and promised him his own gadgets.

“Still,” Jeno mumbled under his breath, “it doesn’t hurt to be kinder.”

* * *

Jeno learnt over the next few days in Seoul that Jaemin had his own history of pain, that Jaemin was not as invincible as he had seemed. The pure-bred alpha was stoic and cold in nature. Despite spending slightly more than half a month with the alpha, Jeno still could not read his expressions or his actions. Jaemin was an impregnable fortress of ice.

However, there were random times when Jeno would get to know more about his future mates, such as over a stupid drama Jaemin was obsessed with. The drama was ridiculously cliche in Jeno’s perspective, reusing the same plot that had been used in a hundred other family drama. The weirdest part about Jaemin’s obsession with family dramas was his face when he watched them. Whether the actors were sobbing or celebrating, Jaemin’s expressions always remained the same, it was either neutral or furrowed brows.

“What’s the appeal,” Jeno muttered, tapping away on his new smartphone in his spot next to Jaemin. It had become a habitual thing for Jeno to join Jaemin on the couch to catch the stupid family dramas after dinner even if he was usually occupied with his phone or a new book from Jaemin’s collection.

“The girl gets to go to the playground with her father,” Jaemin mumbled in reply. It only then did Jeno realise how closely they were seated. It almost felt like Jaemin was whispering into his ear. “I’ve never been to one with my parents as a kid. Not that I’ve ever done anything with them outside of socialising events.”

Lowering his phone, Jeno turned to look at Jaemin. It sounded like jealousy but Jaemin’s expressions did not betray himHe was still as unreadable as before but Jeno was not going to let the conversation die there. It was the first time they were having a conversation that was not out of necessity. “How did you pass time as a kid then?”

“Reading and fighting,” Jaemin replied, straightening his legs. “It’s quite normal when you have two alpha parents. They both work so I was left in my crib throughout my infancy with picture books. Then, they got me a nanny when I was older but she was a piece of shit. Locking myself in the study was the best way to avoid her.”

“Pieces of shit? You mean—“

“Whatever your father did to you,” Jaemin shrugged, eyes not leaving the television screen nor wavering the way Jeno’s would if he had to talk about his own parents. Suddenly, everything made sense. Jaemin was someone who minded his own business. Yet, the alpha had stepped out and stood up for Jeno when his father was punishing him.

No wonder Jaemin stayed in Jeno’s room. He knew they would return because he had been through it before. But it did not make sense to Jeno. “But you’re a pure-bred and your parents are both alphas. Wasn’t she afraid that you might tell on her?”

“My parents were rarely home,” Jaemin shrugged, then in a softer voice, “and no matter what, a child is still a child, alpha or not. I couldn’t win someone twice my size. It got better, though. She realised I was getting stronger in my final year of elementary school and quit before my puberty started.”

Jeno remembered feeling like shit for the rest of the day, especially when Jaemin’s sleeping figure was next to his. Jaemin looked like an angel when he was no longer scowling or being mean. He must have looked even more angelic as a kid, before puberty hit and he started smelling like an alpha. How could someone hurt a child like that?

The world was disgusting.

“Go to sleep, omega,” Jaemin muttered a second later, wrapping his arm around Jeno’s waist.

* * *


	2. Jaemin was some more things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part 2 bc i realised the story was almost 10k for it to be one chapter lol,, anyways part 3 will be an epilogue ish that will come in a week or soooo

Jeno also learnt that Jaemin really hated tears. He knew he cried a lot, too much, even for an omega. Growing up, whenever his parents raised their voices at him, the waterworks would start. He tried to comfort himself that at least he had honed the skill of weeping silently only to realise he had seemingly left that skill in Incheon.

It was the first day of school and right before they were about to leave the house, Jaemin berated him for tying his shoelaces too slowly. The alpha had reminded him to lace his new sneakers the night before but Jeno has forgotten about it, causing him to have to spend an extra ten minutes in the morning to lace them. It would have taken less time had Jaemin not stared at Jeno while the omega fumbled with the laces, messing up time and time and again.

“Fucking burden,” Jaemin cursed before walking out of their apartment, leaving Jeno in the doorway with his shoes as the door slammed shut. A short beep from the digital lock signaled that the door was secure. Jeno instantly looked up, panic fuelling his actions that only caused his shoelaces to get tangled up in a mess as he shoved the remainder of the laces into the sides of his foot.

Grabbing his bag, Jeno was about to leave when he recalled that Jaemin had not given him permission to leave the apartment. Perhaps Jaemin did not want him to go to school, wanted him to stay home and reflect, wanted to punish him like that. Jeno’s omega nature instantly registered Jaemin’s departure as his angry alpha abandoning him, no longer wanting him.

All the strength in his legs left him as Jeno collapsed against the door, sobbing as he buried his face in his palms. He was a failure. He was unwanted. His alpha did not want him. He was a burden. He was not going to school. He was missing school. Maybe Jaemin was not going to let him go to school anymore. He was bad, he did not do as his alpha told him to. He had forgotten about his alpha’s instructions—

The digital lock beeped again. Jeno crawled away from the door to let Jaemin open the door. The alpha was visibly irritated but it was not a new look on him. He always wore that expression and Jeno could not tell if Jaemin was back to punish him or bring him to school. The backpack slung on Jaemin’s left shoulders was dropped onto the ground next to Jeno’s body.

Jaemin roughly grabbed Jeno’s right foot and took the sneakers off the foot, lacing them properly before fitting Jeno’s foot into it once again, finishing off by tying the laces with a neat double knot. The alpha worked quickly on Jeno’s left foot and within a minute or two, the sneakers were properly worn onto Jeno’s feet. “Let’s go, we’re already late because of you.”

Jeno glanced at the clock in the living room. School started two minutes ago. “I-I’m sorry, alpha. I’m so sorry.”

Jaemin did not bother with forgiveness, only shoving Jeno’s backpack, the one Jaemin had gifted Jeno just the night before, into Jeno’s chest. Once their bags were slung over their shoulders, Jaemin held a hand out. Jeno’s eyes lit up at the offer and hand Jaemin’s hand carefully. It was better than any verbal confirmation of forgiveness. Jaemin was initiating holding hands.

It was all Jeno needed to heal from the episode.

“We’ll walk,” Jaemin informed, tugging Jeno in the opposite direction through their linked hands, when Jeno was leading them towards the bus stop. The alpha laced their fingers together suddenly, swinging it lightly. Jeno felt all the anxiety and fear within him leaving his body. Jaemin was being unusually nice and Jeno would be an idiot to not relish in it while he could. “If we’re already late, might as well miss the opening address.”

“I’m sorry,” Jeno apologised again. He hoped Jaemin understood that he was not just apologising for causing them to be late but for being a shitty mate and not listening to his instructions the night before. His eyes and nose were still red from his crying session and passers-by were sending them weird looks but Jaemin did not seem to care so he pretended not to either. “I’m sorry, alpha.”

“Just shut up,” Jaemin sighed, swinging their connected arms again. Fifteen minutes later, they arrived at the gate of the school, hands still interlocked. The teacher on duty at the gate asked for their reason for late coming the moment they stepped through the gates of their new school. Jeno was about to confess when Jaemin squeezed his hand, signaling him to shut up. “I had a rut this morning, sir.”

“You’re a freshman,” the emptiness of Jeno’s neck went unsaid but Jaemin could tell the teacher had glanced at Jeno’s neck. Jaemin knew it was quite unbelievable given that alphas only had ruts after turning 18 but him being a pure-bred meant having biology unlike other alphas. It also meant he could lie about anything under the sun about his biology and non-doctors would have no choice but to believe him.

“I’m a pure-bred, sir. I’ve been having ruts since middle school,” Jaemin’s confidence and unwavering eyes eventually had the teacher giving in and letting them pass without taking down their names. Jeno bowed to the teacher as the left, still holding onto Jaemin’s hand.

“Is that true?” Jeno asked once they were far from the gate. Jaemin rolled his eyes and shook his head. Jeno breathed a sigh of relief, glad to know that he would not have to deal with a rutting alpha until they turned 18. “Thanks for covering for me, alpha.”

“Just shut up,” Jaemin muttered but with no malice. When they entered the school hall, the welcoming address was coming to an end and they only had to stand around at the back of the hall for a few minutes before being dismissed to find their own classes. As they navigated their way through the new school, Jeno was still holding onto Jaemin’s hand. “Are you going to let go of my hand?”

“Can I hold on?” Jeno asked, tilting his head slightly, imitating the youngest daughter of the family drama Jaemin had watched the night before. Jaemin looked away and remained silent. Jeno knew that meant yes. Otherwise, the alpha would reject him with a sharp ‘no’ in the tone that Jeno had heard too many times.

Jaemin was not the worst.

Jaemin was better than his parents.

Jaemin was better.

**Jaemin was quite nice at times.**

* * *

Three months into high school, Jeno and Jaemin had their first fight. There was a lot of screaming from both sides, Jeno startling himself with the loudness of his own voice when he did, even if it did not get violent. There were a few times when Jeno caught Jaemin clenching his fists or shoulders budging but every single time, the alpha would look away and resisted getting physical.

The fight had stemmed from Jeno neglecting his chores. Ever since they moved to Seoul, Jeno had been tasked with the housework. Jaemin felt like it was not a time-consuming task. All Jeno had to do was either cooking or doing the ordering for delivery food, throw out the trash, do the dishes and clean their apartment once in a while.

Jaemin might even add that he had taken out the trash more often than Jeno after realising that their trash could build up and weigh a lot more than expected. However, with their exams nearing, Jeno wanted to focus on his schoolwork and started to defer doing his chores to the point where there were no clean utensils left in the house. The stress of exams and the frustration of a dirty home led to the eventual fight in the living room.

“You listen to what I tell you to do, Lee Jeno! Don’t make me ask for a fucking refund!” It came as no surprise when Jeno started crying ten minutes into the screaming. Only, this time, Jaemin left the living room and locked the door to the master bedroom after slamming it shut.

Everything they had built up in the past three months crumbled within minutes.

They never made up that night. Jaemin did not leave the room in the middle of the night to carry Jeno back to bed. Jeno did not beg for Jaemin’s forgiveness at the door. Nothing happened. Jaemin remained angry and frustrated while he gamed in their room while Jeno cried and eventually fell asleep on the couch.

The following morning, Jeno left for school without waiting for Jaemin for the first time. Later that day, Jaemin did not bother waiting for Jeno’s dance practice to end before walking home with the omega. That cold war continued as the dirty dishes in their sink remained there and the disposable cutleries in their trash continued to pile. Aside from sharing the study, they did not share any other spaces, Jeno making the couch his second home.

It felt like the end. Jeno was anticipating a call from his parents any day or a ticket from Jaemin to send him back to Incheon. But that never came. Instead, it was a severe case of bullying that aided them to reconcile.

Jeno had returned home drenched in soap water after a bad case of bullying. There were not that many omegas who got to school in the city and because they were in the minority and biologically weaker, it made them easy victims to the betas and alphas in school. Jeno had only been able to avoid falling within the bullies’ radar as everyone had assumed that Jaemin was dating him and he was therefore under protection.

Now that he was no longer smelling of Jaemin or going to school with him, he had became the ideal victim. He had no family in Seoul, no one who would care about him and no money to do anything to protect himself. He was the perfect punching bag that came with no consequences.

“A-a-al-ph-pha,” Jeno was shaking when Jaemin opened the door for him after multiple failed attempts at the digital lock. He had been rejected by the bus driver as he would dirty the bus and had to run home from school when the winter holidays was just days away. He had stayed in the open in his wet clothes for at least ten minutes and the coldness was starting to get to him. “Alpha…”

Jaemin furrowed his browed and quickly pulled Jeno into the apartment, ignoring the slippery liquid that Jeno was drenched in when he carried the shivering body into their bathroom. The alpha did not bother with questions, only ordering Jeno to take his clothes off while he prepared a bathtub of warm water. “Just leave your clothes in the sink, I’ll deal with them later.”

Jeno carefully stepped into the warm bath with Jaemin’s aid. The alpha passed him a small towel to cover himself after realising that Jeno was self-conscious to be naked in front of him. When Jeno was no longer red from embarrassment or shivering from the cold, the alpha finally began his questioning. “Who’s behind it? Did you see their faces? What did they do?”

“It’s the betas from our class,” Jeno did not bother naming them, knowing that Jaemin was not dense enough to have missed their snakiness towards him. Jaemin sighed, only confirming Jeno’s assumption when he nodded. “They told me to meet them after dance practice and when I did, they dragged me to the washroom behind the sports hall and…soap water bombs?”

Jaemin frowned when Jeno chuckled towards the end as if trying to lighten the situation. He reached for the showerhead and gently rinse the soap water out of Jeno’s hair. “Why didn’t you run away? Or fight back? Why did you meet them, to begin with?”

“I-I didn’t want to come home,” Jeno mumbled, looking away as he admitted the fact. He had only met up with the people whom he had hated and knew hated him because he was in dire need of a distraction. He needed something that could waste his time so he did not have to go home and face Jaemin. “They said some things and I just…yeah.”

“Like what?” Jaemin was speaking so gently and softly that Jeno suddenly felt like all the bullying he had to go through in the past hour was worth it. Jaemin was talking to him again and in such a delicate manner as if Jeno could break any moment, not that that was far from the truth. “Can you tell me what they said?”

“They said that omegas are only good for fucking,” Jeno slid deeper into the water as if hiding beneath a water blanket, “but I’m not even good for that because I’m too tall and muscular for an omega, that it isn’t pleasant on an omega’s body as if I didn’t already know that. Then, they said that you’re breaking up with me because I’m ugly and you’re getting closer to Haerin.”

Jaemin was about to speak but Jeno beat him to it. “I know it was dumb to meet up with them. I’m sorry for causing trouble again. No wonder you hate me, ahahah. I-If you really like Haerin, I wouldn’t mind, I mean I would but I can b-be your side b-bitch? If you don’t mind me—“

“Just shut up,” Jaemin snapped, splashing water onto Jeno’s face to wash away Jeno’s tears. Evidently, Jeno had thought differently and flinched, moving away from Jaemin as much as he could, thinking the alpha was angry at him for what he suggested. “That’s bullshit, at least in this household. You’re not dumb enough to believe them, are you?”

“Which part?”

“Every bit of whatever they said,” Jaemin clarified. “If omegas are only good for fucking you wouldn’t be virgin right now. Mind you, I’m an alpha. You’re also not ugly or unpleasant, alright? My parents sent me a few dozen pictures of different omegas to choose from and evidently you’re the one I chose. If I wanted a small and dainty omega I wouldn’t have chosen you.”

“Really? Don’t all alphas like small omegas they can carry and—“

“I can carry you?” Jaemin reminded, raising a brow. He had done so many times, in fact. “Maybe I just like your face, like your muscles and like your height, okay? You don’t have to give two fuck about what other people think about you because you’re mine. You don’t have to look pretty for anyone else, just me. I think you’re plenty pretty so there’s that.”

“Is that supposed to be comforting?” Jeno asked, confused but happy. Jaemin had never praised him before and it just felt good to be praised. He could count on one hand how many times he had been praised in his lifetime and it felt good that Jaemin was pushing the number up.

“It’s a fact. You just focus on looking good for me and I’ll do the same for you. Not for Haerin or whatever her name was.” Jaemin said seriously, his round eyes narrowing. Jeno had learnt that Jaemin only did that when he was focusing on math problems or concentrating on a science experiment. It was the first time Jaemin looked at him like that. Like he was determined to do something for Jeno.

“You always look good,” Jeno muttered but Jaemin’s sharp ears had not caught it for once, too immersed in his own thoughts on how he was going to solve the bullying situation. He knew that the moment he held Jeno’s hand in school all the bullying would cease but it was not a foolproof solution. There would be times when Jeno was not with Jaemin and he wanted no repeat of what had happened.

“Hey, stop crying,” Jaemin said a moment later, still looking serious with narrowed eyes, “don’t waste your tears on other people. _Your tear glands are mine too_. I paid for it.”

Jeno laughed so abruptly that he ended up choking on his own saliva.

“That’s a good look on you.”

“What?” Jeno asked, having missed Jaemin’s words from struggling to un-choke himself.

“Nothing.”

That day, they cleaned up the house together and for the first time in a long while, Jaemin’s arm was wrapped around Jeno’s waist, hooking onto him like he would not let go.

Jaemin was not the worst.

Jaemin was better than his parents.

Jaemin was better.

Jaemin was quite nice at times.

**Jaemin was nice to sleep with.**

* * *

Valentine’s Day was the second time the couple fought.

Jeno had prepared chocolates for Jaemin but could not bring himself to pass them to Jaemin when the alpha had not prepared anything for him. He knew early on that Jaemin was not a romantic alpha despite his occasional romantic words and actions but Valentine’s Day was special. Even the iciest alphas gave chocolates to their loved ones. Except for Jaemin.

It was hard to mask his disappointment, not when they had spent almost half a year living together. Jeno expected at least a “happy valentine’s” from Jaemin but nothing. No roses, no chocolates, no hug, no kiss, no nothing. They lived together, slept in the same bed and there was nothing. Meanwhile, couples who had not even held hands were exchanging huge presents.

All that frustration translated into Jeno stuffing his face with the chocolates, which he had bought for Jaemin, after school. Jaemin had just showered, his hair still wet and there was only a towel wrapped around his waist when he stepped into the bedroom where Jeno was eating his frustrations away. “Who gave you chocolates?”

“Just someone from school,” Jeno lied, not wanting the alpha to know he had bought the box of chocolates himself. Not that he meant for it to be himself who ate them. It was supposed to be Jaemin’s but the alpha was a piece of shit and Jeno regretted ever having a single romantic thought about Jaemin and his stupid chest muscles and—

“You accepted it?” Jaemin almost sounded jealous only Jeno knew it was not jealousy. It was his alpha ego refusing to share what he thought was his with others. It only angered Jeno further, was Jaemin thinking that Jeno would be unfaithful? After everything they had been through, he thought the alpha would have more faith in him.

All he had was Jaemin. Regardless of the matter, he would always go to Jaemin, his alpha. Whether he lost his wallet or failed an exam and needed some comforting, it was always Jaemin. How could Jaemin look at him as if Jeno had betrayed Jaemin? Even if he did accept someone else’s chocolates, it would only be because Jeno never said no to free things.

“Why not? It seems like other alphas pamper me more than you would ever,” Jeno retaliated, shoving another piece of chocolate in his mouth. He was sure that eating that many chocolates in one sitting was going to give him mouth ulcers and a stomachache but those consequences were the least of his concerns in the moment he was caught in a staredown with Jaemin.

Jaemin leaned towards Jeno, causing the omega to lose his balance and fall onto his back on the bed. “Just because there isn’t a bite on your neck, it doesn’t mean you get to act like you’re not taken. You’re my property, you belong to me.”

Jeno felt like a fool for thinking that things had changed. Jaemin was not the worst. Jaemin was better than his parents. Jaemin was better. Jaemin was quite nice at times. Jaemin was nice to sleep with. But Jaemin was still Jaemin. He was still the alpha who had bought Jeno. He still saw Jeno as a property. He only treated Jeno decently because he did not like spoiled goods.

Led on. Jeno felt like Jaemin had been leading him on. It had become a habit for them to hold hands on their way to school, only parting begrudgingly when they had to settle into their seats. The alpha had been religiously waiting outside the dance studio for Jeno to walk him home after practice. He had even started helping out with the chores at home nearing exam seasons.

Jeno thought there was something between them. That perhaps sometimes Jaemin stayed up at night to watch him sleep the way Jeno had wasted countless nights watching Jaemin’s angelic face in slumber. He had even wished that Jaemin would like him the way he was slowly starting to like Jaemin.

No, that was a lie. He did not like Jaemin. He loved the alpha.

Jeno remembered waking up one morning with a bad headache and Jaemin had instantly fetched him a glass of water and made breakfast for him. The omega had thought that a stomachache had accompanied his headache only to realise it was a crush. Only crushes were supposed to be silly and superficial and Jeno adored everything Jaemin did. It had to be more than a crush.

“Not that it matters,” Jeno mumbled to himself before licking his dry lips that were quivering. Hopping into the shower, Jeno allowed a soft sob to leave his lips as the warm water showered down onto his muscular back. Stupid Na Jaemin, telling him how much he adored his face and his muscular body in the same bathroom just months ago. All that felt like pity talk all of a sudden.

Jeno sunk onto his knees again. Another sob left his lips. He was so pathetic in his own eyes. How many times must he cry over the same people? He had left his parents and thought he found home and comfort in Jaemin’s arms after so many months but he was crying over the same alpha again.

How many times had Jaemin found him on his knees, sobbing like a child? They were already in high school, even if Jeno was an omega, he should not be crying as much as he was. _I’m a mess, I’m a mess, I’m a mess. I’m a fucking mess. Why am I even surprised that he doesn’t like me? Even I don’t like myself. Nobody has ever liked me. I’m a fucking mess._

The door to the bathroom suddenly slid open. Jaemin had a hand on the waistband of his sweatpants, evidently about to use the toilet, when he stilled in his spot. Jeno quickly got to his feet but Jaemin had already seen everything. The alpha pulled the glass door to the shower open, drenching his body that had just dried minutes ago to stop the water.

“Talk to me,” Jaemin asked, using the same careful tone he had used when Jeno was drenched in soap water. The alpha reached to grab onto Jeno’s hand, rubbing the omega’s fingers in a way he knew comforted Jeno. “Talk to me, tell me if something I said or did hurt you. You know I’m not good with my words or people’s feelings.”

Jeno hesitated before enveloping Jaemin’s waist with his arms, burying his face in the crook of Jaemin’s neck. “The chocolates. I bought them for you, they were meant to be yours. I didn’t accept anyone’s chocolates. I was just being petty because you didn’t get me anything and everyone else got something from their dates.”

“You know I’m not a romantic person,” Jaemin mumbled, propping his chin on Jeno’s head, “there’s only that much that dramas can teach me about people and I don’t really fancy romance drama. But I’ll take note, okay? Next year, I’ll make chocolates for you.”

“Also,” Jeno pulled away, looking at Jaemin with tear-filled eyes. Jaemin finally found something he hated more than tears. Tears on Jeno. “It really hurts when you call me your property. Because I really like you, a-al—Jaemin. I really like you and I don’t need you to return my feelings but if you can, please don’t call me that. It feels like you’re only being nice to me b-because you don’t like spoiled things. Like you don’t actually want me, maybe you don’t, but you’re only tolerating me because you already paid for me.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know,” Jaemin whispered, wiping Jeno’s tears gently with his thumb.

“The last time we fought,” Jeno continued, realising he was never going to find the courage within him to say everything he wanted to say again, “you said you’d ask for a refund. I’m still scared that you’ll return me to my parents when you’re angry. Please don’t threaten me like that again. It gives me nightmares.”

“I’m sorry, Jeno, I won’t do it again,” Jaemin reassured, still wiping off Jeno’s never-ending chain of tears. “I never meant what I said, okay? I would never let you go back to your terrible parents. It was just shit I said when I wasn’t sane.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty much everything,” Jeno said, suddenly shy and realising how awkward the situation was. Jaemin was fully clothed while Jeno was naked and they were both drenched. “Everything else, I can kind of tell when you mean it and when you’re just being a tsundere. Thank you for listening.”

“Of course, no problem,” Jaemin replied, then clearing his throat. “My turn then. You know I watch those stupid dramas because I really don’t know how to talk and act around people properly and I’m still learning. I’m sorry you happen to receive the less desirable part of the learning curve.”

“It’s okay,” Jeno mumbled, slightly taken aback that Jaemin was going to apologise.

“I do like you,” Jaemin suddenly added. “I like waking up and seeing your drooling face. I like the breakfast you make because it feels homely. I like holding your warm hand on the way to school even if we get sweaty palms. I like eating lunch with you even if all the busybodies are watching. I like the way you smell after dance practice and the accomplished grin you wear. I like hearing you talk about your day on our way home as if I wasn’t there the whole time. I like doing homework with you in the study. I like the faces you make when you’re stuck on a math question that really shouldn’t take that much time. I like having dinner with you and watching stupid family dramas with you. I like the way you blush every time I walk out of the shower as if you’ve never watched me change. I like going to bed with you and slipping under the covers together. I like how you stare at my face and make me lose sleep over it. I like you a lot, Jeno, everything you do is my favourite thing to watch.”

“Oh,” Jeno found himself getting tongue-tied. He had given such a rushed confession with tears while Jaemin had given the most detailed and serious confession ever. Jeno was at a loss for words and the most idiotic things came to mind. “Does this mean we’re dating? Can I call you Jaemin instead of Alpha?”

“Yes and sure,” Jaemin smiled. Jaemin smiled. Jaemin smiled. “Though I like it better when you call me alpha but whatever floats on your boat, Jeno. Now, I must get out and dry myself before I get sick. Have a nice shower, Jeno, no more tears, okay?”

Jaemin was not the worst.

Jaemin was better than his parents.

Jaemin was better.

Jaemin was quite nice at times.

Jaemin was nice to sleep with.

**Jaemin was a lot of things but most importantly,**

**Jaemin was his boyfriend.**

**Jaemin was Jeno’s.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more notes:
> 
> if you were wondering, I based Jaemin's character off some of their vlives when he suddenly looks like an adult (he is) and just stops smiling and looks really serious. it makes me infer that he's actually like that in real life and he's acting like he's a really cheerful person and loves doing aegyo for the sake of a persona. In a recent episode of weekly idol with NCT Dream, they also mentioned that Jaemin had a lot of high tech gadgets which is why I made his character care so much about his workstation and hate old laptops and phones so much lol.
> 
> Jeno's character was based more on the way he smiles at times. I read too much into people but like his smile looks bitter and sad at times and I'm pretty sure he's just tired from all of his schedules but it gave me the inspiration to write about how he was hurting a lot behind his smile.
> 
> In some way, their characters in the story are also different sides of me. Jaemin knows he's being mean, which is why he went back to Jeno after leaving Jeno at the door and offers his hand. He knows his childhood was different from others which is why he watches drama to learn how to interact with people. That's also me. I know I grew up in a family that was not loving and nurturing so I try to become a warmer and better person by watching others and copying others. It doesn't always work, I do things and say things I regret instantly and go back and try to fix things and I learnt that sometimes actions speaks louder than words.
> 
> Jeno knows that crying doesn't solve anything and even when he's sad and vulnerable. When given the opportunity in the bathroom, he speaks his mind about what made him sad and uncomfortable. That's me, or at least that's what I wish could happen to me. I wish that someone would be there for me when I'm hurting and that people would give me the opportunity to voice out my pain and that when it happens, I would have the bravery to say what's hurting me. Yep, that's all. 
> 
> yes. the end. hehe.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading till the end, if you made it here hehe. I wrote this in one sitting so I'm really self-conscious about its quality. It's the reason why many of my stories don't make it online :"
> 
> please leave a comment so i can improve thanks <3


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